Not Having That

Have you ever wanted something so badly and not having it makes you feel miserable, bitter, even jealous? That doctorate degree, that dream job, that car, that town house, that European tour, that vacation, that kind of friend, that type of family, and to many girls… that boyfriend!

We’ve all been in “that” situation at one point and it is difficult to resist feeling bad and worried when submerged with what appeared like having nothing or lacking “that”.

But how to cope? Gee, this type of struggle versus the self may be more horrifying than any other enemies—thy self can be much harder to control and discipline. I have in mind random steps in attempting to overcome the strong craving to have “that”.

  • Clear your thoughts and eliminate pessimism.
  • Appreciate what’s currently available on your plate.
  • Accept that this particular desire or wish is not (yet) meant for you and focus on something else to divert attention. Trying to linger on what is missing invites further negativity, and being pessimistic attracts particular air of gloom that might spread to people around us.  (Dementors, are you there?)
  • If you are not ready to tell the world about this longing, try to share it with your closest friend(s). Someone who will love and support you. Someone who can give a genuine hug and will never pass judgment on whatever you say. It is good to be honest about this feeling and nourish the freedom it offers in admitting the pain to the person you trust.
  • Instead of being envious of those people who are living your “dream”, try to be happy for them. Be glad that they have it and leap to maturity. As they say, you can’t have it all.
  • Pray and believe it will happen at the right time. There is probably a better reason why you don’t have “that” (yet).
  • Be in control of your blessings and be rather thankful for it.

Can you make any of this works well for you? I might always need to try harder every time I have an urge for that.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s