I had a difficult time leaving my son for work this morning. He seemed to know I would be off his sight in a short while. He was grabbing my collar, calling me frequent “momma”, and sobbing while he rested his forehead on my shoulder. I even heard him wail when I left the room. He knew I was going; perhaps he realized the new morning routine. Oh, the mommy guilt.
But I have to go.
I don’t have to elaborate this hardest feeling; I am sure you would understand especially if you are a mother. We share the same pain and worries. And true, this is one the sacrifices we have to burden every single day. It is consoling to know that I am not the only one experiencing it. I have so many friends (who are my supporters at the moment) who had been in the same situation and had fiercely battled the guilt.
Their tips were ringing in my head as I walked teary-eyed to the office.
- The anxiety is there, as they say, but my son and I will both get used to the separation given a time. (Like when?! Can it be now?)
- Of course, he will understand the reason when he is at the right age. (So I still have to endure this for more years ha! He is just 21 months!)
- You are doing this for his own good—it’s so hard to make him realize this fact. Seriously, I tried discussing this matter to my toddler-boy, heart to heart, and all he said was “let go!” (meaning let’s go) and “hotdog!” (while watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Hotdog dance!) What am I thinking?!
- Pursue your own career; he will thank you for it. (This I agree, he will thank me because I will be less clingy when he is older since I have other things to think about, not just him and what he is doing in school BUT again this is when he is older! Like 12? About 10 more years then!)
Admit it. No one can appease me for now (at least while just writing this), but I really appreciate the assistance of good friends. After all, we’ve all been in this similar scenario at one point.
Bottom line, I can’t wait to see and embrace my son tonight.