Growing older, didn’t we get to care less about the physical attribution to Christmas? Diminishing the level of excitement when seeing rows of gifts?
What comes more important is something beyond what one can buy…
Why not give our whole ear? I mean, do you like to talk more than listen? So why not do otherwise? I’m sure that this is a better holiday present.
On a daily basis and over a usual meet-up with friends and colleagues, I prefer to listen more than talk. But like many of us, there may be a few times that we also want to be heard too. Be heard by someone sincerely and willingly (regardless how non-sense we may seem to utter). Very seldom I am in that vent zone but I get there too like how we all long to have someone who will submerge into our repeated drama with all heart and not be judged, mocked, or be regarded in a negative way.
Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing “from within the other person’s frame of reference”, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another’s shoes. (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy)
It’s quite a challenge to find someone who will empathize as we hoped they would, right? Maybe it is one tough thing to see what’s “from within the other person’s frame of reference”. Perhaps no one would really bother and dig what’s within nowadays. When the surface looks okay then the inside must be okay, assumed okay I supposed and it has become a typical mindset.
Did you ever reach a point that you want to scream to the moon and say: “Can someone there listen to me?!! Can you listen to me, sincerely please? Can I talk unedited? Can I own your undivided attention for at least 30 minutes? Can you empathize?”
Many people are so engrossed of their issues and are eaten by their worries that they care to no one but their own real/created struggles.
Do you hope to have such an enthusiastic listener as Rapunzel to Flynn/Eugene from a scene in Tangled? When she was the one who initiated for him to tell his story despite his reluctance at first and how she got excited as he begins the narration?
Just a dash of sensitivity and sometimes it comes easy to discern who is interested or not to what we are saying, here are the 12 types of the so-called listeners/empathizers:
- The always eager listener (where art thou?!)
- The eager listener but with a short attention span (are you still there?)
- The NOT interested at all (because it’s not about her)
- The wandering eyeballs
- The pretending to listen
- The selective listener
- The upfront irritated
- The obviously bored
- The staring to none
- The drifting mind
- Suffering the I-Me-&-Myself-Syndrome
- And those waiting for the cue to bring back the topic back to them again
I’m sure being able to really empathize and listen would be the perfect gift to share this Christmas, are you up for the merry challenge? We can be the #1 to someone from the 12 list above—once in a while, try to naturally be the Eager Listener.
Gift Image courtesy of Kdshutterman at FreeDigitalPhotos.net